


My Own Worst Enemy Songfic

by DearLadyDisdain



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLadyDisdain/pseuds/DearLadyDisdain
Summary: Based on the song My Own Worst Enemy by LitA David and Emma Lee oneshot





	My Own Worst Enemy Songfic

It was like coming out of a fog, a really dense fog...a little awake, a little more and then the pain hit.

“Oh God...” David said and groaned, “I’m gonna kill Nick and Greg.”

He tried opening his eyes and they felt like they were glued shut. He was amazed that when he tried to rub them, his fingers even hurt. 

“What the hell did they make me drink last night?” he thought and managed to pry his eyes open. The light hit him and his head screamed. 

“So that’s what vampirism is like.” he thought and managed to roll over. That when he noticed the fuzzy feeling under his cheek. This was not his bed, these were not the linen sheets he’d splurged on for comfort. When you work mostly nights, comfort in bed is worth it. This was...carpet?

He opened his eyes again and without the light landing directly in them he was able to keep them open long enough to focus and realize he was on the floor...in his living room from the looks of Maru eyeing him from the couch.

If the cat could speak, he’s pretty sure it’d be shaking its head and calling him an idiot.

“Okay...at least I made it home.” he said and slowly rolled to a sitting position, “Not sure how.” 

He felt a breeze on his back and slowly turned to see the window screen on the floor and the curtain blowing in the breeze. “What the...?” he said and then had a flash of memory.

Greg giggling, Nick yelling at him about the door being open and him falling into his own living room through the window. Something about being quiet cause Emy was waiting and he wanted to surprise her.

“Emy...” he said and his eyes opened wider. She said she’d wait for him at his place after his “guys night out” that Nick and Greg insisted on last night. So where was she now?

He cleared his throat. “Emy?” he called, kind of. No answer. “Emma Lee...Spooky?” he tried again, still nothing. Maru looked at him, jumped off the couch, gave him another look over his shoulder, stuck his whiskers in the air and walked out of the room.

“Crap.” he said and made himself stand up. Now he could see outside the window...to where his car was on his lawn. Before he could question, though, his stomach decided to wake up and he froze.

“Oh no...” he said and suddenly found the strength to run to the bathroom.

He stumbled out later, using the wall for extra help against the force of gravity, and made his way to the bedroom door. “Emy?” he called again. She wasn’t there either.

He rolled back down the hallway wall and into the kitchen. Also empty. He got a bottle of water and then got the bottle of Motrin out of the cupboard and got down a couple, praying they stayed. When it seemed they weren’t going to make a repeat appearance he made his way to the table and dropped into a chair, putting his head on his arms and groaning again.

He smelled coffee and looked up, the pot was half gone - and on. He thought hard, had he made coffee? He didn’t think so, and he’s not sure how the hell he would have in this condition so Emy must have? 

His phone was on the table in front of him. He hit a couple buttons and it dialed Greg.

“Good morning, Hodges!” came the sing song voice.

“I’m going to kill you...painfully. Slowly. I’m going to create a poison just for you, I’m going to name it after you, even.” he said. All he got in response was laughter.

Nick’s voice came next. “How ya feelin’ there, Partner?” came the Texas drawl.

“You...you can go right back to Texas and fuck a cow.” he replied and heard Nick burst out laughing.

“Where’s Emy?” he finally got out. “When we left she was there with you. Haven’t seen her since.” Nick said.

“Although, you did say some things last night while you were drunk. Maybe she left.” Greg said. David thought he heard a snicker, but he couldn’t be sure.

“I what?” he said, suddenly more awake.

“Uh yeah, you got pretty loose lipped when we brought you home.” Nick added.

“Oh no...what did I say?” he said and sat up.

“I don’t really think it’s for either of us to repeat. I’m sure she’ll show up, I know she’s not gonna let it slide. If I were you I’d be ready.” Greg said and David slapped his hand to his face and winced.

Before he could say anything else Nick said they were getting paged and had to go, hanging up.

“Oh no....oh hell, what did I do?” he said and ran his hand through his hair, feeling like tearing it out.

He sat and worried, trying to think of what to do and trying to remember anything. Should he call her? Should he wait? He was pretty sure he should take a shower cause now his nose had woken up as well and he smelled like decomp.

Before he could act on anything he heard the front door open and slam shut. He winced, in pain and fear. Emy came in with a couple bags in her hands and gave him a cold look before she dropped them on the counter.

She started to unpack them with her back to him, slamming things as she put them away. 

He swallowed and finally said, “Um...Emma Lee...I...”

“Don’t even start.” she said and he shut up.

She kept her back to him and put her hands on the counter, leaning over it and he heard her take a breath.

“I must have really fucked up.” he thought and dropped his head.

“You...I can’t even believe you.” she said and turned to him, crossing her arms, “First you scare the hell out of me when I see headlights looking like they’re gonna come through the wall! Then you fall in through the window yelling ‘SURPRISE!’. Then you decide to lay there on the floor with words literally falling out of your mouth like someone spiked you with sodium pentothal.”

He just shook his head and said, “I am so, so very sorry. I know it’s no excuse, but you know I rarely drink...and I had way too much last night. Whatever I did...I’m sorry.” 

He looked up and she’d turned back to the sink. She was looking down and her shoulders were shaking. “Oh no...” he said and got up and went over to her, “Please, Emy...please don’t cry! I’m sorry, I don’t even remember what I said, but I didn’t mean it! You know me...I have chronic foot in mouth disease, things just come out without thought - I would never say anything to hurt you! Please, Emy...please forgive me!” 

He heard her make a noise and stopped...it didn’t sound like crying. It sounded like she snorted. Then a giggle slipped out.

“Spooky?” he said, confused. She turned around and there were tears on her face, but he could tell they were from laughing, or trying not to.

Realization dawned on him and he narrowed his eyes at her. “Greg called you.” She nodded and burst out laughing. He glared and went back to the table and dropped into a chair again, still glaring.

“I’m sorry, but it was too good to pass up!” she said and kept laughing.

“So you made the whole thing up?” he said and she shook her head.

“Oh no, I couldn’t make that up, it was too good. You DID fall in the window and yell surprise at me. You even thought you had confetti in your hand and tossed it in the air!” she said and grinned.

“Oh good lord.” he said and dropped his head again.

“And you did get diarrhea of the mouth while rolling around on the floor.” she added and then came over and knelt next to him. He lifted his head up and looked at her.

“Oh no...” he said and put his face back in his hands.

“And that’s when you almost got your ass kicked.” she said and he peeked through his fingers at her.

“You started talking about a certain someone.” she said and his eyes went wide in fear, “And how you wanted to send her flowers and a card.” David felt like he was going to be sick again and groaned.

“Because you wanted to thank her for leaving you.” Emy said and he looked up fully.

“I...what?” he said, confused.

“You said you wanted to send her flowers, and a card for leaving, because it would have made things very awkward and difficult when I came along if she hadn’t.” she said and gave him a half grin.

He just stared for a moment and then he said, “Well, it’s not like I was lying.” Emy grinned and laughed again.

“I get the feeling that wasn’t all I said.” he cringed. She shook her head. 

“No, not by a long shot. I think Nick even recorded some of it. You ratted me out to Greg how you always found where he stashed his coffee, you told Nick you knew he liked Greg about 6 months after you came here and how Greg liked him the first time he saw him, let’s see...what else?” she said and he put his head back on the table.

“You talked about your fear of birds and how that came to be after sneaking over to a friends house and watching The Birds and then their parakeet went psycho in the middle of the night and scared the hell out of you. Understandable.” she said and nodded.

“Please just kill me now.” he mumbled.

“And then you almost got teary eyed talking about how much you missed Jacquie and Grissom.” she continued, “That turned around when you said how you knew about Archie and Mandy and the supply closet...and were surprised no one else had noticed. And how Brass has the hots for Catherine and vise versa, and maybe they should get locked in the supply closet and work it out.” she said and acted like she was ticking stuff off her fingers.

“I am never going to live this down, am I?” he said and moaned.

“And then I wound up kicking them out cause you started in on me.” she said and his head popped up again.

“About how stupid you were in ignoring your feelings, and how you still can’t believe I was with you and hadn’t given up on you. And how much you loved just snuggling up to me at night and nothing else. Which, by the way, actually shocked Greg into being speechless - he seems to have thought otherwise, but none of their business.” she said and he went bright red and dropped his head again.

“Then...I made them leave...but you kept going, except you started talking to the cat.” she said and laughed.

“Why didn’t you just hit me with something and knock me out?” he mumbled. “No, too entertaining.” she said and shook her head.

He looked back up. “You’re enjoying this just a little too much.” he said and gave her a look.

“You have the most wonderful heart to heart talks with Maru, it’s very sweet.” she said and he rolled his eyes.

“Fine, go on.” he said and laid his head down so he was looking at her.

“Well, when I came back in from sending the boys off, you were laying on the carpet and Maru was laying in front of your face and giving you his full attention. I took a picture, of course.” she said and held up her phone.

“Cute.” he said and glared.

“And you were telling Dr. Maru all about how you wished you had the guts to do more than snuggle up, cause your dreams were literally going to kill you eventually. And even though you’d die happy, well...” she said and he shook his head.

“I’m never drinking again.” he said and she grinned.

“I heard that a lot growing up in New Orleans. Usually by people walking down the street with big cups of coffee in their hands.” she said and laughed, but then she got serious and he got a little scared.

“But you said you were too scared, even more than being scared of birds...cause you were afraid to get that close to someone you loved...cause I might leave like everyone else.” she said and then reached up and stroked his hair. He didn’t say anything for a couple minutes, just looked at her and then nodded.

“Again, not lying...about any of it.” he said and she smiled a kind of sad smile.

“I love you, too. And I’m not going anywhere, not unless you’re with me.” she said, then leaned forward and kissed him gently.

 

She made a face and said, “And if that doesn’t prove it, considering you taste like the inside of Nick’s gym bag, I don’t know what will.”

He grinned and said, “I should shower...and brush my teeth.”

“You should call a hazmat team...damn.” she said and leaned back making an “ick” face, “Did they drag you through a alley full of roadkill or something? You smell like the ass end of Bourbon Street after Mardi Gras.”

He just laughed and stood up, then held out his hand and helped her up. “Since I am so offensive, I will go take care of it.” he said.

“And I will make some fresh coffee and the best anti-hangover breakfast you’ve ever had.” she said and turned back to the bags she’d been unpacking.

He left the kitchen on the way to the bathroom but stopped in the door and turned back to her.

“Emma Lee?” he said and she turned, a little confused cause he rarely called her that. 

“I do love you...I just thought I should say it, you know, not drunk.” he said and shrugged. She grinned back at him and said, “I know. I knew before you did.” then turned back to the groceries.

He opened his mouth to respond and then shut it and turned to go down the hall. “yeah, you probably did.” he said to no one and smiled.


End file.
